{"id":2865,"date":"2022-08-25T16:49:29","date_gmt":"2022-08-25T16:49:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cdhf.staging.not4prod.com\/?p=2865"},"modified":"2022-11-09T18:51:56","modified_gmt":"2022-11-09T18:51:56","slug":"spa-day-no-thanks-i-have-a-colonoscopy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cdhf.ca\/en\/spa-day-no-thanks-i-have-a-colonoscopy\/","title":{"rendered":"Spa Day? No thanks, I have a Colonoscopy."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Life is what you make it.&nbsp; Not sure who said that but it\u2019s working for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am a 41 year old mother of three, a Middle School Teacher, and I have an Inflammatory Bowel Disease.&nbsp; Originally diagnosed in 2012 with proctitis, I guess the rest of my colon got jealous so I managed to upgrade my diagnosis to full blown<a href=\"https:\/\/cdhf.ca\/en\/digestive-conditions\/ibd-ulcerative-colitis\"> Ulcerative Colitis<\/a> by 2014.&nbsp;Through a series of medical treatments, a few sharts, and a wonderful GI Team I have been flare free through the use of Humira and a good dose of humour since May of 2018, which for me is ah-freaking-mazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Prior to my diagnosis in 2012 I had never had a <a href=\"https:\/\/cdhf.ca\/protecting-yourself-from-colon-cancer\/\">colonoscopy<\/a> (though I had done my fair share of listening to fellow teachers belly ache about it during glamourous staff room lunches).&nbsp; Those that did elect to share made it sound like they had survived a near death experience and clearly could not read my disinterested and unsympathetic face.&nbsp;And I will admit, if one focuses on the preparatory magnesium-citrate drink&nbsp; (I even tried to use shooter glasses to simulate a good time) and the unfortunate fasting and diet-altering that needs to occur in the days leading up, I suppose you could have a couple of complaints about the procedure.&nbsp;However, I made a decision years ago to \u2018re-frame\u2019 the dreaded appointment that has worked swimmingly and so I felt obliged to share!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As previously mentioned I have three adorable children who accost the majority of my time and resources.&nbsp; Likewise, I have a rewarding profession teaching young minds who drain the little I have left in me.&nbsp; In short, I often find myself desperately wanting some \u2018me\u2019 time which I will take in any form.&nbsp; Enter the Colonoscopy appointment!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">To be fair, the majority of my butt invasions come in the form of a regular sigmoidoscopy or its street name the \u201cFlex-Sig\u201d.&nbsp; <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is sort of a dumbed down version of the full colonoscopy in that you don\u2019t have to drink the mystery drink and you&nbsp;<em><u>only<\/u><\/em> have to violate yourself with TWO enemas a few hours prior.&nbsp; Nonetheless, it is a commitment not to be taken lightly and which, in my opinion, can only be made better with a good mani and some dialed in brows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Usually my \u201cflex-sigs\u201d occur in a circumstance in which I can choose what time of day I\u2019d like to see my butt on the large screen.&nbsp; If given the choice&nbsp;<em>I always choose<\/em>the early afternoon so that I can slide in some other body issues that deserve equal attention.&nbsp; Once the medical appointment time has been locked down I get to work setting up additional and well deserved appointments for aesthetic work (mani, pedi, brow wax, etc.) but I don\u2019t stop there!&nbsp; Nearby the hospital is a great outlet store and&nbsp;<em>one must<\/em>arrive in comfort and style.&nbsp; There I select some form of \u2018leisure wear\u2019 and perhaps anything else that catches my eye!&nbsp; I\u2019m pretty certain I\u2019ve read somewhere in the preparation pamphlet that a good handbag can ease the experience?!&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Far too many times I have witnessed fellow GI patients fussing with too many layers, buttons, and other complications to attend to. Unless your colon is applying, it\u2019s not a job interview.&nbsp; Think simple, streamlined style and if you find yourself too cold why not request the straight-from-heaven heated blanket service; is there anything better than giving yourself a warm fleecy blankety hug before a rude awakening involving ultrasound gel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Though my judgement may seem harsh my motives stretch beyond vanity.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My point is simply to treat yourself a little to balance out the harsh reality that you are going to have a pressure- inducing camera up your hoop and subsequent uncontrollable gas afterwards!&nbsp; For me, as I put the pieces back together once the procedure is over, if I am looking down at toenails that look like candies I feel as though I am in control.&nbsp; If aesthetics aren\u2019t your deal perhaps a good book is in order?&nbsp; Just imagine rolling out of the recovery fog and knowing a crisp, new release is waiting to be read.&nbsp; Perhaps a hot shave?&nbsp; It is all too easy to become the victim of the unavoidable colonoscopy but with some self-care in mind and scheduling the right day around it you can create a day worthy of reflection (though still not interesting enough to report at the lunch table!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eat. Love. Poop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">KR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Life is what you make it.&nbsp; Not sure who said that but it\u2019s working for me. I am a 41 year old mother of three, a Middle School Teacher, and I have an Inflammatory Bowel Disease.&nbsp; Originally diagnosed in 2012 with proctitis, I guess the rest of my colon got jealous so I managed to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5766,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cdhf2022_sponsors_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[60],"tags":[52],"class_list":["post-2865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-article","tag-tags-ibd"],"acf":{"article_writer":[2867]},"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/cdhf.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Women-in-robe.webp","author_info":{"display_name":"Sophie Allan","author_link":"https:\/\/cdhf.ca\/en\/author\/sophie-allen\/"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Spa Day? 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